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Sympathy Frequently Asked Questions


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Q: What is appropriate to send to a funeral?
A: Fresh flowers, plants, dish gardens, or even fresh flowers with green plants are all a very appropriate sympathy tribute. Different areas have different customs.

Q: If I can only afford to spend $25.00 to $35.00, is there something I can send?
A: One choice would be a decorated plant or possibly a small table arrangement which will be delivered to the immediate family after the service.

Q: I only know the son, daughter, etc., is there some way I can address the card to them?
A: If requested, we can specify that the arrangement/plant can go to a specific person.

Q: We are having a flag – can we still send flowers?
A: Yes, you can order a standing spray and/or a basket arrangement to be placed next to the casket. Also, identical arrangements may be placed on either side in order to frame the casket. Some families will request flowers to be red, white and blue and others will select colors.

Q: Is it alright to send brightly colored flowers for a funeral?
A: Certainly. Bright flowers can reflect on the energetic personality of the deceased. Also, colorful flowers may be chosen to send a message about how that person made you feel happy to have known them

Q: If the service is at the church where are the flowers and plants delivered?
A: In most cases they are delivered to the funeral home the day of any visitation and the funeral home will take the flowers and plants to the church.

Q: Who orders the casket spray?
A: Most of the time the closest family member(s) does. In some cases organizations, companies or even the funeral director will place the order and/or pay for the casket spray with the immediate family’s approval.

Q:

What if the family doesn’t have much money, can I purchase a casket spray as my gift to the family instead of other styles of arrangements?

A: It is possible, but you need to ask permission from the family first to make sure your good intentions don’t step on someone’s feelings. The may have made other financial arrangements.

Q: Are there any options to the flowers that are too “funeral looking?”
A: Yes. Although very traditional arrangements are still requested in some parts of the country, most florists today are happy to create an arrangement that’s fresh, original and appropriate. Using a variety of flowers, non-traditional arrangements are perfect to present to close friends, take home or deliver to places of worship as a remembrance after the service. Non-traditional containers are also gaining in popularity.

For ideas, many florists have books that show a variety of sympathy flower tributes including regional designs. Long-lasting green plants are becoming increasingly popular and are often combined with flowers.

Q: Are ribbon streamers with writing on sympathy arrangements appropriate?
A: Yes, they are appropriate on some pieces. Traditionally they should be used to state the relationship you had with the deceased. Examples would be Loving Mother, Beloved Aunt, Special Friend, etc. Other words appropriate would be putting on the ribbons the name of your organization, club, or company. An example would be City High School Football Team. The enclosure card is where the sender’s individual names are signed.

Q: I am part of a group. What are some suggestions?
A: When groups, including grandchildren, nieces and nephews or friends and neighbors go together on flowers, the arrangement can be very special and make a larger showing.

These pieces, such as standing sprays and larger wreaths, could also be from clubs, leagues and business associates. One idea: Include a contact name and address so the family knows whom to thank.

Q: What can I do to make my arrangement special?
A: A good idea is to consider the life of the deceased. Themed arrangements, including sprays, wreaths and plants, are becoming very popular. These focus on the interests of the deceased and may include a golf club, fishing pole, pair of garden gloves, etc. There are many items such as bibles, angels and crosses that may also be incorporated.

Q: What is appropriate to send for a cremation?
A: Because this practice is increasingly common in some areas, many florists will have specific ideas. Families may choose a smaller piece designed for display with the urn. Specially designed pieces may be more in keeping with a brief memorial service.

If there is to be a visitation and viewing before the service, palms, green plants and larger tributes from groups can provide a beautiful setting. A tastefully done floral tribute adds beauty to any type of memorial service. Of course, it is equally nice to send the flowers or plants to the family’s home.

Q: Sometimes I see a charity mentioned “in lieu of flowers” in the death notice. Is it still appropriate to send flowers?
A: Because flowers say what is difficult to express, they are always appropriate and in good taste. Many people like to express sympathy and show respect for the deceased in a variety of ways including contributions, food donations, cards, a helping hand and of course, flowers.

Funeral directors tell us that most people do not want a service completely devoid of flowers. Also, many people choose to send flowers or plants to the family at home instead of sending them to the funeral home.

Q: I found out about the death after the funeral (or cremation) was over. What can I do?
A: A floral arrangement received at home after the activity surrounding the funeral can be a welcome reminder that friends haven’t forgotten. A recent university study shows the bereaved appreciate being thought of in the weeks or even months after the funeral.

In this instance, consider a table or foyer arrangement or perhaps a basket arrangement with spring or pastel flowers. A personal note or “we are thinking of you” message would be especially nice.

Q: How will I know if my delivery was made to a funeral home?
A:

All Funeral Home deliveries are logged in the funeral home’s log book. Some funeral homes request a receipt left at time of delivery. If the delivery is being attempted close to the service or visitation time, the drivers will inform the funeral home staff of the delivery, to assure prompt placement of the floral piece, by the funeral directors. In most cases the family members of the deceased will not be able to acknowledge the item sent until after the service, which can result in a week or two after the service.

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